Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Pressure

The last two days have been very tiring. On Tuesday a trip to the doctors ended in a massive dilemma for me. I suffer from Endometriosis, which is a painful affliction that stems from the lining of the womb. Rather unfortunately I have had it for years, but was only diagnosed offically in 2001. My doctor has been working with me to manage it since then, but then dropped the bombshell that because of the migraines I've been having the course of action we were taking could put me at risk of a stroke! It all sounds very dramatic but the risk is very small. The alternative would be to either take a large injection of progesterone, which could have awful side effects and render me infertile for possibly a year, which sounds like a really unnatural thing to do to my body, or get pregnant.

The irony of this disease is that having a baby can cure you, but the disease itself can lead to infertility! I've been with Steve for over a year now but it's an awfully big thing to ask, and i'm not even sure I feel ready to have a baby, if indeed I even can get pregnant! This is driving me mad. Steve and I are completely in love, and he is supporting me in this 100%, we are talking things through, but we know we want to have children together, so do we just go for it and allow the universe to step in?


I saw this on my walk back from the hospital today, it brought a little light.

I'm so glad that my sister and mum are coming to be with me tomorrow. They are the light at the end of this dark tunnel today, i'm in need of some sisterly and motherly advice.

8 comments:

Darlene said...

Sisterly and Motherly advice...ahhhh the best kind :)

I'm tossing out some guiding angels, a few prayers and high hopes for this decision making time.

A cyber hug for good luck...
(((hug :))))

xxx darlene

Deirdre said...

What a difficult place to be. And ouch. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this condition, it's a miserable thing. Sounds like you're getting some good support from all around. Hugs to you.

bee said...

this is my first visit to your blog...i've been reading susannah's for a bit now. what a powerful introduction to you, abigail...my thoughts and good wishes are with you.

i'm glad that you got exactly the support you wanted when you needed it.

take care,
-bee

Alex S said...

So, so sorry you are having to deal with this. I knew someone in adolescence and young adulthood, whom I have since lost touch with, who struggled so with endometriosis, and saw how she writhed in pain a couple weeks of every month. If you do decide to have a baby, it sounds like you have an extraordinary support system, and of course, you are bound to illustrate books with your talent, so you can even work from home! Take good care of you!

Colorsonmymind said...

I know that this can be a painful affliction. I hope you aren't suffering too much physically.

It is a hard choice-hope you got some answers talking it through with your mum and sis.

Hugs

::Bek Geach:: said...

You are right.
Mums and sisters... will help you.
And you and Steve will work it out.
Just doesnt feel that way sometimes when you're in the thick of it.
But you know what... amazing things happen ... just as they are meant to be.
Even if sometimes its not what you think.
My thoughts are with you.
Have a nice soak in the bath sista.
*hugs*
Bx

Rachel said...

Hi honey, sounds like a tough time, as for the motherly and sisterly love, hopefully you are in receipt of that and feeling better about everything. Big love to you

boho girl said...

i know whatever you two will decide, you have a circle of support around you.

i am sorry you have to deal with the pain of endo. i can only imagine how frustrating that must be for you.

i will do my angel cards tomorrow and see what comes up and let you know...

sweet love to you, sister.